Ups and Downs

Lately my life has felt like a roller coaster of emotions. It starts out and then something drastic and terrible happens and I am sure it is the end of the world. It feels like my life is falling apart and I have my "what have I done!?" moment. But then some cheesy music starts playing in the background {like on Full House, then Danny gives a great pep-talk} and I have a change of heart or I see the situation in a new light and suddenly everything works out. Crisis averted! Like sitcoms, this cycle seems to be running every half hour as well unfortunatly!

I have been feeling so emotional and so stressed. Since we moved into our house everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. Yesterday our Air Con went out {I know I am not getting any sympathy over there on account of it being Winter! But it is so hot here!} Last night it got so hot that I had to take a cold shower at 2 AM. We had to keep the doors and windows open to get some breeze, but we don't have screens so when Gabe woke up he was covered in bug bites {we all were actually, but it is so sad to see it on your little baby!}

After that night from h_ll, literally, I think it got as hot, I had a doctor's appointment I had to be to in the morning. I got a sitter for the kids and got everything all organized so I could go and do the things I needed to do. It was a lot of work and it took me like 15 minutes to find a parking spot which is always really stressful when you are running late. When I get there the receptionist tells me that I wasn't supposed to be there until FEBRUARY 29TH! I couldn't believe I could be that off. We talked and went back and forth before I conceded and left, but I was so bugged!

When I had called and made the appointment she had told me that I could come "Thursday of next week" and I asked her if I could come Wednesday or Friday thinking Laine would be in school and I could probably handle bringing just Gabe. But she said that the only reason I was able to come so soon was because of a cancellation, otherwise it wouldn't be until the end of February that they could see me. It was such a unique conversation, so it was like I was walking into the Twighlight Zone when she told me it was the wrong day. As I thought about it and replayed the orignal conversation in my mind, I just couldn't reconcile it. I turned around and walked back in to just tell her to forget it, I'll go find someone else. I got just a few words into my explanation and then I just lost it! I started bawling like a baby and an old woman had to come over and rub my back and tell me to breathe. All I could mutter is, "I'm so sorry, this isn't me! I'm not like this, it's just...' No matter how many times you you say that, you will always be that girl who lost it. She said that the doctor would see me. So I then had to sit with my tail between my legs until the doctor, who by then probably knew what had happened, called my name. They were all so nice about it, but I know that no one is going to take the blame for the mistake and I will always be that crazy girl who came for her appointment a month early and was a brat about not being seen. But I KNOW they told me to come that day!! So weird.

Please don't feel sorry for me or tell me how bad you feel for me, that is not why I mention these things. Sometimes I have to remind myself what I have been through and that there SHOULD be some growing pains associated with it. I just feel it is important to mention though, so that I can be honest. I don't want it to seem that this big huge major life altering decision we have made to come here looks so effortlessly easy! It has been very trying! It is so stressful that even the happy, fun, exciting, up times are stressful and emotional! Again, no sympathy needed, right now I am in the good, happy place part of the sitcom and the crisis is once again averted.

Okay, so for a total change in gears, here are some pics from Christmas that I just couldn't not post! I think I mentioned a few posts ago that Gabe didn't have a snow suit so I put an Elmo costume that we had lying around the house on him for sledding. Here are some way cute pics of him and Laine and the cousins and Aunts and Uncles.

Forming up a sweet train

Looking good in my borrowed snow gear

Though with Noah in his Carhartt jumpsuit, and Allison in Noah's clothes, I think they might pull out the win for the best

Me and my little Elmo

Runnaway train never coming back, wrong way on a one way tra-ack... Elmo makes a run for it