Christmas Part Deux -The Cruise

Here we are in Perth, and I've got more time and I'm more relaxed than I've been in months. I've given Ben his once a month allotted night to watch one of HIS shows rather than one of OUR {my} shows. He's toggling back and forth between the Australian Open -which he'd much rather be sitting at live... and The Journey to the Center of the Earth. I have no choice but to blog. It's working out perfectly actually. Nothing like a little time spent together!

Back to Christmas. So one week before Christmas Ben and I left the darlings with Ben's parents {THANKS!} and headed out to a cruise with my sister's, bro in law, parents, and Grandpa + New Grammie. It was awesome. If you've never done a family cruise I am here to tell you it is a must. You've probably been on the fence about it for some time and I urge you to pull the trigger on it. If these pictures don't convince you I don't know wha twill. That last one was a typo, but I kinda like it. It kinda works. I'm going to start a new word trend.

But I digress.

The ladies, catching a show

One of life's dreams fulfilled and you are now here to witness the box litterally being ticked. I swam with dolphins. This is the time the dolphin pushed my foot with it's nose whilst I rode on a boogie board. Best hundie I ever spent. Went with Sissy Kate. Sorry the pics are so far back, Ben, our photographer sitting on the sidelines {with a single tear running down his cheek for being left out] sadly could get no closer.

Rubbing her belly for good luck. Not sure if this was before or after the 18-year-old girl started FREAKING out and crying because she was scared of the dolphin. She was scared, trembling {later convulsing} with real tears streaming down. Katie and I could do nothing but snicker -not allowing ourselves to look at each other for fear of losing it more than we already had. It was pretty hilarious. Kinda like when people freak out about clowns.

Anyway, the trainer then tried to calm her down by having her swim over to her {she was standing outside the pool, yeah, she had climbed out. It was more pathetic than I can describe} and he said to the dolphin "do you like this girl?" and the dolphin shook it's head yes. And then he said "are you going to bite her?" and the dolphin shook her head no, I think a little 'uh, uh' escaped it's lips too. It was so funny, seriously, I think a little pee might have escaped. I'm pretty sure.

I DO know however this was around the time that another hilarious incident started, involving a 45-year-old-ish woman who had come with her "Mommy". Mommy was an 85 pound woman who's skin was as wrinkly and saggy as her swimming suit- of which the crotch was hanging down a good t 2-3 inches. She was a possible Alzheimer's sufferer and just stared off into space with a blank stare as she shivered from the cold of the water {as you do when you weigh 85 pounds}. She seemed truly oblivious to her older adult daughter shouting 'Mommy, Mommy, watch me! Mommy, did you see me? Did you see me and the dolphin Mommy??!"

Again, could not. even. look. at each other.

Right before our big moment -this pic, besides embarrassing me, reminds me of that one of Ben taken a few months ago. The one where it looked like his head had been photoshopped on. Here it is so you can snicker again, I know I always do. The similarities are striking.

After this we enjoyed a FANTASTIC day at my favorite place on earth, a place where if I could spend every day of my life I would truly be happy -the water slides. It was included in our ticket so if anyone is heading to Puerta Vallarta -please let me know and I'll hook you up. The cost without he dolphins is $14. A steal since the place is both deserted and awesome. You can run up the ramp like a 12 year old kid- or was that just us? and hop on slide after slide with no supervision. The slides were sick, seriously sick and the food was delicious. Possibly my favorite day, ever.

I'm not doing this sequentially, you should know. Here we are about to ride our horses. On the excursion we took in Mazatlan Look at that enthusiasm! We were humoring Mom actually. See, we had purchased this way awesome {not} excursion online and it was built up as this awesome day spend on Stone Island. Long story short, after being off the ship for 3 hours, we finally arrive to the 'port' of the island -only to find the ship was literally 50 paces away by water. It was sadly funny.

Anyway, pretty much the rest of the excursion followed suit -I do not recommend this tour unless you are with family who can make you laugh your head off at all of the ridiculousness! The horses were almost as hilarious as the fact that we were riding along this lame town rather than the beach that we could see in the distance. My horse kept being naughty and getting spankins' -not as cute as it sounds. He would jump with a stir and nearly buck me off after being spanked for eating people's front gardens. Just more fodder to laugh at.

Water Weenie. Need I say more? Here is where we really made our money back. Especially riding with Nick {brother-in-law} who's crack was in my face the entire time as he jumped up and down like a 10 year old kid. And the time my Mom got bucked off the back and called us 'jerks' repeatedly was pretty funny too.

These next shots are for a calender the "Gildea" men are secretly putting together. I've probably said too much. Since Nick is the sexiest, it is mostly of him. Shoot them things straight Nick!

"When in Rome!" was Nick's reasoning for this picture taken in Cabo

This one is very Art Nouveau

The crew, including New Grammie at a Cathedral in Mazatlan.

Mom and Dad's Prom Picture. Sexy.

Nick and Ben's Prom picture

Is that it? It feels like I'm forgetting something. Is there anyone still reading this post?

-

busy.

Some crazy people think they want to put up with this jack hammering and drama... so we are out of here! I kept praying and praying that everything would work out with a move -especially since Laine starts school next week so we really needed to be somewhere and have it figured OUT! And oh beauty has it ever worked out. We found this awesome house who accepted our total lowball offer and could vacate in the 2 minute's notice our agency gave us. They've been a dream to work with, which we really deserved after the beyotch of a peach we've been working with the last year.

It is in an awesome little town close to Ben's work and in a beautiful area with a funny name {Rouse Hill, yeah, we sound like hillbillies}. But we just couldn't be more excited and just when it seems like things couldn't get better -great new ward {we hear} awesome schools, duck pond and nature reserve close...then we find out that we live across the street from another American family who are in our ward. Hi, perfect.

So I'm in the midst of moving and knee-deep into a trip across the country to Perth for a few days. I'll be all alone until February 7th since Ben will be traveling from now until then. But things are good and I'm feeling truly blessed and grateful for all of the good friends and support I'm getting here through all of this.

Sorry I keep giving empty promises about what is to come -am I the only one who is losing interest in blogging? Please tell me I'm not alone. I'm sorry, but besides having to move with 2 weeks notice while you've got a 5 day trip planned in the middle and your husband will be gone for the whole thing, it's summer over here ya'll! And that sunshine just calls me a lot more than the radiating heat from off of the computer desk! Seriously, it has been so hot. The towels feel like they're fresh out of the dryer, not exaggerating! The whole house just radiates HEAT.

Okay, no promises this time, I'll be back when I can. It might be March, but I will update Christmas and all things Perth and the move.

Merry Christmas everyone!

What? I missed it? I happened already? So you're saying I'm too late? Shoot.

I had these pics uploaded and all ready to go, they're now almost a month old, I've got a lot of catching up to do. I'm not going to miss out on telling you one moment of our trip, so I guess this is part 2 {or is it 3?} in a 15 part series. Buckle up folks, it's going to get a little bumpy.

So this was a month ago {as afore-mentioned} at my Dad's Firehouse Christmas Party. It really took me back being there, since again, it was something we never missed when I was a kid growing up. All that was missing was the already-over-sweet punch that had 2 cups of sugar added per gallon. Other than that it was just about as I remembered. Gabey seen here treating Gaengy like a buckin' bronco

Laine and Santa, pretty explanatory

Gabe and Santa, not so much. Maybe next year

What says Christmas like a Creepy Santa man, 2 gals +kid and an old-timey firetruck?

Mom and I bakin' away. We made cute treats to spread holiday cheer, the kind that last the whole year through.

This was the day Laine slept with Cujo, funny story.

I used to sleep with Cujo, the family dog, when I lived at home. She's so sweet! Anyway, when Ben and I had been married only a couple of months, we took a weekend and slept at my parent's house. We slept in my old room in my old bed in the basement. Cujo was so excited, she thought she was in on the party. And see, I'm forgetting an important part of the story. Ben had tricked me. He had pretended that he and not only Cujo were bff's, but he and ALL animals were bff's. Not so. He hates them. He is a clean person. He doesn't do dog hair nor does he want to go around smelling like a monkey's butt. But he allowed me to believe he did when we were dating so that I'd think we were mfeo and both animal lovers.

But I digress... so we head down to bed for the night and Cujo is trailing right behind, her ears perked up and her tail a'waggin'. Until Ben shuts the door behind him, all but hitting her in the snout. I was sad, really sad, but not near as sad as Cujo who sat outside the door whining and scratching, too naive to understand things weren't the same anymore.

I was so sad at this point, probably a good 20 minutes into Cujo's antics, and I began to cry. Think of me what you will, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I knew I had to choose my new marriage over Cujo, but the wine was bittersweet...

Anyway, so for old time sake I let Laine sleep with Cujo. It was so precious!

Okay, and this last one REALLY takes me back! Little girls earnin' their keep. Yup, that one rings a bell. I think washing walls and baseboards was next...

And who could forget the day Laine slept in her funny glasses after removing the slinky eyeballs

K Peeps, stay tuned, TBC...

Thanks again for babysitting Dad!

Tonight we had a Christmas party for my Mom's YW. We worked all day on cleaning house and making treats so everything would be perfect {okay, you caught me, we squeezed some 'crafting' in there too}.

Anyway, Pop Pop was volunteered to take the kids off our hands during the party. I guess a trip to the 99 cent store got tacked on to the original itinerary that had only consisted of happy meals and McDonald's play land.

Yeah, so Dad pretty much thought it would be pretty hilarious to give Laine a Dora 'tramp stamp' {okay, I give up, it was hilarious} with the Dora tats courtesy of said 99 cent store.

Here's Laine with her 'reading glasses' {like Grandma?} picking out some Dora tats for everyone else to share in the fun. She later remarked of the evening:

'I'm not super Laine, I'm just Laine, only, I'm not Laine, I'm Dora'

Sounds kinda like her typical logic...

And that's Gabey showing me his 'gockit' -chocolate.

It was a pretty exciting night had by all if you were wondering.

just fartin around

Greetings from my continued vacay with my family. It has been a lot of fun and the kids continue to be in heaven with their Gaengy & Pop Pop and Hannah. They're also enjoying being part of a family that has pet dogs. Gabe spends about an hour each morning out in the cold -no shoes on of course, playing with his goggies and jumpin' on the tramp. I must get footage, it is thoroughly entertaining. PS -I think he may have ADHD... {as with the time I wondered if he had Prader Willi Syndrome, I am only half joking...}

We've had lot's of time spent at Pop Pop's firehouse functions where Gabey has been in 2 year old boy heaven. He loves trucks. The bigger the better. And if you can climb on them and jump all over them and goober 'em up -so much the better.

I think it has been fun and eye-opening for my parents to spend so much time with this wild boy. He sure does love life. Almost as much as being naughty... And Laine and her new alter-ego 'Super Laine' have continued to be bright, cheerful angels -most of the time!

We've had a lot of laughs and good times. As many of you know, Katie and I, and possibly others of my sisters, have a real knack for having the craziest and stupidest things happen to us. However, I had no idea that it all started with my parents...

We keep laughing and laughing about a story they told me a few nights ago over dinner: When my older sister Nicole was in kindergarten, they had their first parent-teacher conference. Being new parents, they were really excited and welcomed the new experience and had high hopes for not only this child's, but their their others' as well.

On that high, they arrive to the conference and sit down to talk to the teacher, only to have her say, 'Nicole doesn't stay within the lines when she is coloring' and then she honestly, purely and genuinely looked at my Mom and Dad and to their faces asked 'are either of you retarded?' No jokes, no kidding. Purely, earnestly a serious question.

Needless to say it is the new family inside joke, well, one of them... and it was almost as good as this story of Katie's that pretty much goes down in Gildea history as the MVP. Will it be topped? Sorry if you've already read it on this blog and HG, I just can't get enough of it, and I'm worried that 1 or 2 new readers may have missed it, which would be such a shame.

Okay, I'll let the pictures do the talking:

Gabey and Gaengy 'fartin' around' on the truck

*FYI *Bringing out a classic Gildea inside joke. Allow me to elaborate... When we were in HS, my Dad loved to torment us in any way possible {what am I saying?? He still does. He lives for it actually} He used to see the caller ID and know who was calling and obviously then who they were calling for -so he would answer in a mock-woman's voice, 'Natalie Hotline, how may I help you?' or something stupid like that. Anyway, when we weren't home at the time, and our friends ever asked where we were and when we would be home -Dad's classic response was, 'I don't know, they must be out somewhere farting off"

It was kind of akin to all of the friends of mine who when they came to the door, he asked why they looked different and if it was because they'd had their head gear removed -when they obviously handn't ever had it on. As if my Dad wasn't intimidating enough. But it was hilarious, I'll admit it.

In a sick way, I miss it...

More farting off...

Can you believe she is the Grandma?? She's Madonna's clone. She hates that, but she is. She has the gap and everything -but not the fake British accent. I think I'll get her a leotard + corset and some heels for Christmas

The whole crew. We've been calling Laine 'Margo' from the Royal Tenenbaum's in her fur coat. I think I really will darken the eye make-up and get her a purse for a fabulous-hilarious photo-op. I'll of course enlist Katie's help since she was her for Halloween...

Awwwwe... cute

Inside eating, Gabe being a buckin' bronco on Gaengy's lap. I spared you the action shots, but the reel was pretty funny

Margo forgot to open her eyes for the pic

Why were we in some half-finished building eating do you ask? Days later I'm still not sure, but when there's free food involved I tend to not ask questions...

Okay, now this was the day we went to 'King's Buffet' -one of my Dad's favorite restaurants. Yes, it's an all you can eat, Chinese buffet, I'm sure you were wondering. Since we were going some place so nice, he wore his Rocawear shirt, as you can plainly see

That's why I dance so good, cause my Dad's a thug



Unrelated to our day at the buffet, here is a candid shot of my Dad the next day in the Marie Callendar's parking lot -rocking his G-Unit jeans

Back to Kings,

Laine and G

Even though we joked about Laine's helmet hair and call her the baby broadcast journalist, she really doesn't look 4 going on 44, as this picture would lead you to believe

Gabe, drinking his ice cream...

Okay, I know I always make promises that I don't keep, but there truly is plenty more where this solid gold diamond mine came from. I've got a whole other 2 posts worth of pictures, I'm on it.

This post needs pictures

Ugh, I've been meaning to post all of this for weeks -does anyone else get major blog back-up paired with a complete lack of desire to post? It's a nasty combination... one that I sometimes fear that it is lethal and has no cure.

Anyway, I did want to repost this story I already post on HG for many of you who don't read HG, sorry for the repeat for those who do:

A few weeks ago was Laine's last week at preschool. She will be sad to say goodbye to David, her first 'boyfriend' she's had at school all year. He is such a sweetie cutie. He always led her to the door and helped her sit in her seat. He's a real gentleman at the ripe old age of 4.Last week when I went to pick her up it was just David and Laine left. I talked to David's Mom for a minute and then Laine came up and interupted me with the usual patting and 'Mom Mom Mom!'. I finally stopped my converation and said, 'What??' and she said {as David's Mom was right there listening of course}:'

Mommy... I don't want Daddy break David's legs, cause he's my friend...'

Ah! I was so mortified! Obviously as I had ooed and awed over how cute they were, Ben was polishing his rifle and getting out his baseball bat -he seriously HATES hearing the cute stories. So the threat of breaking his legs was one of Daddy's usual responses and I was SO embarrased as Laine overshared. It actually was pretty funny though.

That was also a few days after I attempted to wear the first hat I'd worn in years. With my short hair I felt like I truly looked like a lesbian or homeless -or even possibly a homeless lesbian {nothing wrong with it! Just not the look I typically go for...} Now that my hair has grown out some, I thought I'd brave it.

I came out of my room with Laine beaming "Mom, you look so cute!" -Wow, that was the reception I was hoping for and more! Then she followed it up with "Yeah, you look like a Dad!" ...hmmm

Seems like something else funny happened, if only I could remember. This is why you should blog more often, so you don't forget! Maybe it was the 75 year old pregnant man in a blonde wig and pink sparkly outfit we saw on the streetcorner before we left... not sure...

So how as the flight you ask?

Hell.

It truly was. Gabe slept all of 45 mintues during the whole 14 hours. Instead he stuck to a healthy regimen of 1 part running up and down the aisles laughing during the 'night' when the plane was dark and most everyone was trying desperately to sleep -including me. 2 parts kicking the seat in front of him as if it were his last kicks on earth. 2 parts using my quads as a trampoline. 1 part practicing for his big debut as a WWF wrestler. 3 parts sending Daddy to a fit so severe he may need anger management afterall. 1 part waking Laine from her blissful rest. 2 parts playing with his Thomas trains, praise the heavens. 1 part spilling drinks or food and then whining about it. 1 part meltdown... let's see, am I forgetting anything? The look {I mean scowl} on the crusty old woman's face in the row in front of us WAS priceless, and surprisingly it never did get old.

And a huge thanks to the Quantas team who was so patient and didn't treat us like we were diseased because we had children unlike some airlines I know of {UNITED!}

Okay, I'm getting the urge to get out my paperbag since posting this has not been the therapy I hoped it would be, instead it is inducing rage as I'm forced to relive it. Out.

familyfotos...

I'm so behind in posts. I've got a bajillion crazy stories building up but just can't take the time to get them down! Here's some fam pics and I'll be back Arnold style asap

Playing Dress-up, I mean Catch-Up

Sadie the painted lady!

Not sure why Gabey looks like a balding-on-top, old man groom, his hair is thick and lustrous!

The happy couple! Congrats you two!

Next day, Mullett Bogan rather than Black Roots Blonde Hair and Sunglasses Bogan. Getting the goods from Clara

Rasta Ben {kinda...} taking the kids out

Happy Halloween! ...Two weeks ago! I'm a little behind -which is also something I'd like to have but anyway, I digress.

We went to a fun ward party a few days before Halloween and then trick-or-treated to about 5-6 houses on the actual night. Halloween hasn't exactly caught on here. We got about 10 trick-or-treaters in all. Which was not good because the kids and I, mostly I, then had to eat all of the 'lollies' -as they say here, that I had purchased. Damn, again, also as they say here.

Ben and I were what we always are since we must get our money's worth out of the wigs we invested in 6 years ago and paid $10 for -it was a lot of money at the time you see. So yes, once again we were Bogans, Bevans, aka White Trash -whatever you want to call us. We now have an aditionaly wig that is a hat with nasty black braids that we got courtesy of a white elephant party. Our costumes were complete with bbq stains and mustard in the arm-pits for that yellow-pits effect. I wore a nice shade of blue eye shadow and nice pink shade of rouge to complete the look. I didn't have any lip-liner, which would have accentuated to look, unfortunately. I'll have to remember that for next year.

Laine and Gabe were the cutest Bride and Groom you've ever seen. You can't tell the beautiful detail on Laine's dress, it was so pretty! I'm not sure it was what they would have chosen to be, but I thought it was cute and I realized this may be one of the last years that I can choose what their costumes will be. Even this year was borderline -Laine was quite insistent that she be a chicken again. She didn't get the memo that we need to enjoy and relish these years of Halloween in the summertime and that we need not bundle up in the heat and humidity!

Later that week it was my birthday, which was one of the best adult birthdays of my life. Ray and Christine, our neighbors, took us on a date to the city to celebrate. Ben even got to be designated driver and drive Ray's brand new AU$270,000 BMW convertible {yes, you read that right} home. It was a little chilly with the top down, but was ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE to drive through the city with the top down -over the Harbour Bridge, by the Opera House... It was breathtaking. It was SUCH a great night. Thanks again R & C!

The next day was my actual birthday, Sunday, and Ben has meetings all morning and I do everything and get the kids all ready for him to drive home and pick us up. That day he actually got someone to cover for him and snuck home to make me breakfast in bed with Laine and decorate the house. It was so festive! I was so surprised and it really made the day so fun.

We had dinner over at Clara and Francis's house -our Korean neighbors, and it was so, SO good I could have died! I realized that it actually was the first time I'd been invited over to a Korean's home to eat -I had only had Korean food in restaurants until that point. Actually, while we were living in Korea, one family from Ben's mission DID invite us over, but they took us out to eat at Pizza Hut... Normally I would have been totally P.O'd and felt ripped off, but I was pregnant and wanted to kiss the ground at Pizza Hut -I was not about to handle Asian food at that point.

Anyway, Ben had snuck away to the bakery to get me one of my FAVORITE things for a birthday cake. I LOVE those cute little tarts that have the strawberries, blueberries and kiwi's and that shiny glaze on them. Seriously, I'm obsessed. Any time we go to a classy buffet that has them or any kind of function, wedding, what have you -I bring back a plate so full that I tell people it is to share for the whole table. And then I get to the table and I start to growl if people start inching toward them, thinking I was sharing. True story. I really, REALLY loves my tarts.

Since I didn't want to share my tart with the Koreans, I DID make my own cake. But it turned out so ugly that I made Ben tell them that he made it.

Anyway, it was a great day and a huge thanks to my family for making it so special for me!