Jan 31, 2008

Ups and Downs

Lately my life has felt like a roller coaster of emotions. It starts out and then something drastic and terrible happens and I am sure it is the end of the world. It feels like my life is falling apart and I have my "what have I done!?" moment. But then some cheesy music starts playing in the background {like on Full House, then Danny gives a great pep-talk} and I have a change of heart or I see the situation in a new light and suddenly everything works out. Crisis averted! Like sitcoms, this cycle seems to be running every half hour as well unfortunatly!


I have been feeling so emotional and so stressed. Since we moved into our house everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. Yesterday our Air Con went out {I know I am not getting any sympathy over there on account of it being Winter! But it is so hot here!} Last night it got so hot that I had to take a cold shower at 2 AM. We had to keep the doors and windows open to get some breeze, but we don't have screens so when Gabe woke up he was covered in bug bites {we all were actually, but it is so sad to see it on your little baby!}


After that night from h_ll, literally, I think it got as hot, I had a doctor's appointment I had to be to in the morning. I got a sitter for the kids and got everything all organized so I could go and do the things I needed to do. It was a lot of work and it took me like 15 minutes to find a parking spot which is always really stressful when you are running late. When I get there the receptionist tells me that I wasn't supposed to be there until FEBRUARY 29TH! I couldn't believe I could be that off. We talked and went back and forth before I conceded and left, but I was so bugged!


When I had called and made the appointment she had told me that I could come "Thursday of next week" and I asked her if I could come Wednesday or Friday thinking Laine would be in school and I could probably handle bringing just Gabe. But she said that the only reason I was able to come so soon was because of a cancellation, otherwise it wouldn't be until the end of February that they could see me. It was such a unique conversation, so it was like I was walking into the Twighlight Zone when she told me it was the wrong day. As I thought about it and replayed the orignal conversation in my mind, I just couldn't reconcile it. I turned around and walked back in to just tell her to forget it, I'll go find someone else. I got just a few words into my explanation and then I just lost it! I started bawling like a baby and an old woman had to come over and rub my back and tell me to breathe. All I could mutter is, "I'm so sorry, this isn't me! I'm not like this, it's just...' No matter how many times you you say that, you will always be that girl who lost it. She said that the doctor would see me. So I then had to sit with my tail between my legs until the doctor, who by then probably knew what had happened, called my name. They were all so nice about it, but I know that no one is going to take the blame for the mistake and I will always be that crazy girl who came for her appointment a month early and was a brat about not being seen. But I KNOW they told me to come that day!! So weird.


Please don't feel sorry for me or tell me how bad you feel for me, that is not why I mention these things. Sometimes I have to remind myself what I have been through and that there SHOULD be some growing pains associated with it. I just feel it is important to mention though, so that I can be honest. I don't want it to seem that this big huge major life altering decision we have made to come here looks so effortlessly easy! It has been very trying! It is so stressful that even the happy, fun, exciting, up times are stressful and emotional! Again, no sympathy needed, right now I am in the good, happy place part of the sitcom and the crisis is once again averted.

Okay, so for a total change in gears, here are some pics from Christmas that I just couldn't not post! I think I mentioned a few posts ago that Gabe didn't have a snow suit so I put an Elmo costume that we had lying around the house on him for sledding. Here are some way cute pics of him and Laine and the cousins and Aunts and Uncles.

Forming up a sweet train


Looking good in my borrowed snow gear



Though with Noah in his Carhartt jumpsuit, and Allison in Noah's clothes, I think they might pull out the win for the best



Me and my little Elmo

Runnaway train never coming back, wrong way on a one way tra-ack... Elmo makes a run for it

16 comments:

Kristine G. said...

Hey. I have some address for Australia... but it just ends in Australia. Ben gave it to me. I can send it internationally since you will actually get it in time that way. Although, you might have to explain how to do that... I have it addressed and ready to go so I will probably head down the the post office. I haven't ready your blog yet, so I might comment again :) Love ya!

Kristine G. said...

Haha, those pictures are so funny! It makes me miss my little Gabey so bad!!! Especially the picture with you and him and he is looking at the camera with his binky in his mouth. :( So cute! Send my love to Laine and Gabe! ... and from Jordan since that will probably mean more to them anyway.

Hansen's said...

I my experience, you really have to go through some tough times to appreciate the good times.

With that said, I have no doubt that the Riley's get through this with flying colors!

JonesFamily said...

Nat,
I had a hard time with my initial adjustment to AZ so I can't imagine going all the way around the world! So sad about the bug bites. Take Care!!

Jocee Bergeson said...

Hmmm...sounds a bit like my time in Korea. One day I was loving the fun friends and food and the next day I was so depresed about living in the craziest country ever. It is just so stressful to move and get settled and to add all the international things on top of it is just too much some times. The good part is that you've done it twice before and adjusted do you know you will again! ENJOY THE WEATHER. I'd take bug bites over the crummy weather we have to wake up to EVERY morning! :)

Andrea said...

I love this post because it is REAL. Most the time I only post about the good times, even though life is full of the hard ones. I know you're not dying and you'll get through it, but it's nice to read something that's sincere and real life. Maybe I should try it sometime!!

Katie said...

Oh my sissy! I have an idea, come home! Seriously, or you should maybe call me I really want to talk to you. I miss seeing you guys so bad, one month down only about 300 to go.

Katie said...

Oh my sissy! I have an idea, come home! Seriously, or you should maybe call me I really want to talk to you. I miss seeing you guys so bad, one month down only about 300 to go.

JLR said...

I know you don't want my sympathy, but I would have done the exact same thing at the Doctor's office! Way cute pictures too, especially the Elmo snow suit!

Napier Family said...

I just adore you!!! Keep Smiling. Super cute pics. Love the Elmo, very smart.

Melanie Whiting said...

Natalie!! I have so been there done that. I am one of those girls that is a total brat in situations like that. You should be!! They don't realize that it's hard to dole out the 2 kids and try to make everything work. You are so funny, I love your comparison to full house. You are so great!! I went to the gym a month ago and the Daycare was full. I have never even brougt my kids but I was meeting my mom and Heather for a class and I was TICKED!! Especially since I had made the effort to drive 15 minutes there and to get the kids ready to go. Well I threw a major fit. I spent 400 dollars on my gym pass and what's the point if you can't use the daycare. Anyways they ended up taking my kids but I felt dumb because I was that girl!! Love ya!!

The Wells Family said...

You are so great! It is nice to know that others have bad day's too. :) My therapist always said...give yourself 24 hr pitty party after some that totally wigs you out whatever it may be and move on...it makes me feel less guilty. :)

PS...I busted a gut about "Full House"...my sis and I always talk about the "realization moment" at the end and laugh. :)

Jenny or sometimes Bozo said...

I know your move is a million times larger than ours, but if it makes you feel better I've been an emotional rollercoaster as well. One day I think it's fun to move, the other day I want to cry to a new doctor! I will give myself a little credit since I'm prego, but that's just an excuse. Anyway, best of luck. I'm sure with time you will have so much fun in your new found land. I've always wanted to go there and see a wild kangaroo...but not get kicked.

Lindsay said...

I agree with Andrea. This is a GREAT post. And something I can identify with...in a small way. I felt like I was in another country when I moved to New York, and my emotions were so messed up. I had a really hard time adjusting (and it took me a good 7-8 months to finally feel happy again). Moving is hard, I don't like it. I have been feeling the blah's again lately,...and trying to figure out why. Maybe it has something to do with the weather? Who knows. I'm not sure I would take the sweaty heat and bug bites over the cold weather- even though I am SO done with the cold. I hope you get some good AC soon. That is miserable. About the doctor appointment- It sounds like me. I mean as I read it, I could totally see me in the same situation saying the same things, being so angry at the stupid lady for messing up that it would put me to tears. I once asked for a raise and when my then-boss said he couldn't, I started crying and couldn't stop!! It was a combination of a lot of things, but I was humiliated because everyone there saw me crying. I just wanted to curl up and dissapear. Why can't I control myself sometimes?!

Jeanine said...

Hi Natalie, I found your blog on Nicoles...I hope you don't mind me leaving a post to say hi. I am actually really glad I found your blog! And just to let you know... everyone has been there!
I hope to keep in touch better,
Jeanine

http://web.mac.com/shoeguru1/Site/Welcome.html

Gaengy said...

Sorry you are having so many real life experiences at once. I guess we forget that you are human too. You are always looking on the bright side and rarely complain. It brought back memories of my move. It was a hard time feeling so emotional and not like myself. I wish I could come over and give you a hug. Love and miss you MOM

 
Blog Design By: Sherbet Blossom Designs