Mar 27, 2008

A New Low



Oh. My. Gosh. I don't even know where to start in relating the events that transpired yesterday. You know, I really pride myself in not feeling embarrassed about stupid things I do or say, or that happen to me. But this time is different...

So we have been really couped up in the house unpacking, and I realized we really needed a nice vacation from our problems. What better way to get out of the house when you are still a one car family, than to walk to park? Great idea. We walked over the best, most beautiful park in the area, which is really sad since I won't be able to show my face there, at least for a few years. Usually no one is there, so we didn't get all dressed up. I even let Laine dress herself so she was looking a little orphanish. Gabe was also not dressed to impress, I grabbed the first shorts and shirt I could find, which ended up being too small and a very boring color combo.

All of this didn"t stop us from having a great time at the park. Many other families showed up, including two with Dads which was strange. We chatted and visited while the kids played until we'd all been there for over an hour. That's when I decided it would be a good idea to swing with Gabe. Everything was going swimmingly, and we were both really enjoying it. But as we swung higher and higher I really started to space out. Just as we were on an uphill climb, I leaned back a little too far and all of the sudden I am flying end over end, doing a complete 180. Gabe smacks face down on the ground, but I am still hanging on, upside down, as I swing over him, mashing him into the ground, then swinging back over mashing him again, then a third mash before I too am finally flung from the swing. He has been screaming bloody murder since he flew off the swing, so as if a grown woman flying off a swing isn't enough to draw attention, Gabe sure drew the crowds.

In a matter of 3 seconds, all of my pride was destroyed and I don't think I will ever be the same. The ground at this particular park is those wood chips, so we were both covered in debris. Everyone is staring and I am just praying that I really did not just do that. I really don't know if I am fully describing how utterly ridiculous it is to not just fall off of a swing, but to completely flip off of it mid air and all but crack your baby's ribs in the process.

So now I am sitting there wondering what to do next. I can't just leave, because then they would all know I am a true coward. My legs actually killed and I think I might have pulled something. Yet, I just sat there in pain, pretending nothing had happened despite the fact that Gabe had gator tears and dirt all over his face. I shoved some food and drink at him and we sat there in silence with the hugest elephant in the park, while everyone looked at me with pity. They also tried to get closer to me to get a good look into my eyes to see if I had been drinking. I am actually surprised that no one pulled out a breathalyser, or called child protective services to come assess the situation. To make matters worse, one of the Dad's was Mr. Overly Protective and Cautious Guy. I, on the other hand, am obviously the fun, free sprited parent, who lives life on the edge. I could literally feel him thinking "well, look where all that fun and free spiritness gets you"...

After a half hour of living it down, I decided it would be an appropriate time to make our exit. So, with my grace and dignity, I limped out of the park and came home. On the way home I used the last notch on my cell phone to call Ben and relate the events, hoping some one would help me to laugh at the situation. When I got home I felt around in my pocket for my key, and yeah, it was of course gone. Not only did the swing rob me of my pride, my key must have fallen out of my pocket as I sailed through the air. I was so mad! I now had no cell phone, which normally wouldn't be that big of a problem, just borrow some one's phone, great idea! Well, it is if you know the phone number to call, which I don't. That's right, I don't know Ben's cell phone or work number because the prefixes are really weird here so I just put it on my cell and call speed dial.

So now I am really stranded until he comes home. I sat and thought about trying the back doors, but had to chuckle to myself that that very morning I had discovered that one of them that we never use, had been unlocked for probably the last 6 weeks or whenever we used it last. So I resolved to change my ways and made sure every last door was locked before I left. After about 5 minutes of laughing at the irony, I walked over and stared at the door, wanting, wishing to just go inside and just die. That's when I realized that the key was never in my pocket, I had forgotten to take it out of the lock before we left. It was staring me back in the face.


21 comments:

James and Heather English said...

Oh Nat! I was dying just even thinking about poor little Gabe being crushed by the swing, yet laughing my head off too!! You do have to look at the bright side, atleast the key was in the door and not at the park right? Great story, sorry you are so embarrassed.:)

Andrea said...

I just love reading your blog. Not because I'm laughing AT you, but because I do absent-minded things all the time and it's good to know I'm not the only one. This very thing has never happened to me (I hate swings) but I am constantly doing embarrassing things. Like leaving the key in my car, in the ignition, ON, all DAY!! I love how you can write about the funny things that happen to you!

JLR said...

I felt so sad after reading this! I hope you and Gabe have recovered! And go back to that park again soon, who cares what other people think, right? I loved your Christmas in March though. How fun!

Shauna said...

oh man. Natalie that is so so SO sad. I was thinking of how depressed i would be to be locked after that, that i really did breathe a sigh of relief when i read that the key was in the door still. THAT IS A TENDER MERCY IF YOU ASK ME.

Nick & Nicole said...

I just spit toothpaste all over my computer screen. I had to go rinse so that I could finish reading. That is the funniest Natalie story ever! I can totally picture it. I can't believe no one even asked you if you were okay.

I hurt myself pretty badly on the swings not that long ago. I was swinging. . .by myself. . .and it was one of the parks with the rubber matting, which is great for padding falls. I discovered, however, that the downside is that if you bend your foot up, because you are too big for said swing, as you are coming back, the rubber can catch your shoe, and drag your foot back behind you while your body still goes forward. Crunch! I had to limp myself back to the car, fighting back tears and then go pick Avery up at preschool. I was limping for four days. Luckily unlike your story there was no one around to watch my unfortunate gracefulness.

Melanie Whiting said...

Natalie- You shouldn't feel dumb at all! You were out having fun with your kids. I hate when stuff like that happens and people are there to witness it! Poor Gabe I hope he isn't scarred for life. I hate swings. They just make me feel dizzy. I can't believe noone said anything to you. I would head back today! You are such a fun person and your kids are lucky to have you as their mom!!

Kristine G. said...

Ok hearing you tell the story live was funny... reading about it on here is even more funny. Try as I might, I can't imagine you telling the story in any other park but Northridge... I am imagining everything happen there. I am glad that you are alright and that little Gabey doesn't have any permanent damage! Wish I could have been there to witness it!

Mike & Nicole said...

How do you have such luck? Or lack there of I guess is a better way to say it:) Your posts are always so entertaining! I hope Gabe is OK and can forget the incident as he gets older! That is hilarious!

Jenny or sometimes Bozo said...

I can't stop laughing. I often wish I could accompany you in your daily activities because they seem to be so fun and eventful. If I saw you flying off a swing smashing your child I would walk right up to you and ask for your number so we could have a play date because I would know that you were fun. You should totally go back to the park...if Gabe will let you:)

Gaengy said...

I agree you should not be embarrassed...like Hayden always says these days "it was an accident" Glad you are all okay and for once I am happy the key was in the door for you when you returned, I think you had enough trama for one day! Hope Gabe will let you swing with him again...I think the kids looked darling in their photo at the park, who dresses to impress at a park anyway?

Jeanine said...

I am so happy that you didn't have to go dig through the bark to find your keys! That story sounds like something that would happen to me too! It's okay...we have all been there!

Utley Family said...

Oh Natalie! I haven't laughed so hard in a while! I'm sorry (for your sake) that my biggest laughs come from reading your blog! I'm glad that you and Gabe are ok!

Kate Gildea said...

Alright it has been the longest day of my life and then reading this just made it all better. I was laughing so hard my boss came in to make sure everything was ok. My poor little Gabey...I know how he gets when he is dropped. Remember Cornbelleys when I dropped him off the slide? If he makes it to 2 it will be a miracle!

The Wells Family said...

The key in the door was just a little nod from the heaven's saying that everything is alright and that someone is helping you out. How lucky! :) I hope that you recover from the situation and don't have to completely change your appearance to be seen in public again.... :)

Patrick Family said...

I am glad to hear that there is someone else like me out there. i am so accident prone and clumpsy. Sorry you had to go through that, but what I got out of the story is you are a good mom for swinging with your kids, no many moms do that!

Ashleigh said...

let's remember the moto high school . . . making a fool of yourself only gives people something to talk about and you something to laugh about.

love the story.

Allison & Noah Riley said...

Having already read the above post and realizing Gabe came out mostly unscathed, I feel like I'm okay to just laugh at this one! I can't believe nobody said anything!

I went running last week, and TOTALLY ate it by tripping over my own feet - right in the middle of downtown SLC during rush hour. There were no pedestrians on my particular slice of the sidewalk, so at first I thought, "nice, no witnesses." Uh, yeah - Al. How about the hundreds of commuters driving along side you?

Stacey Lau said...

oh my goodness Nat. I almost peed my pants reading this and J was wondering what was so funny, so I had to read it to him and he was laughing out loud too. We love you!!!

Shoestring Weddings, Parties & Events said...

Natalie,
I have huge tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard. I am sorry to laugh at your misery, but that story is so funny. I can just imagine it all. I think I'm laughing because that sounds exactly like something that would happen to me.

You are too funny. What a great story. Poor little Gabe...glad he is okay.

And don't worry, I broke Tyler Luekengas leg at the park, so you're not the only one! And that was much worse!

Love it. Thanks for the laugh.

Amber (Gregory)

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just happened upon your blog and I haven't laughed this hard in months! I don't remember the last time. Anyway, thanks. :)

Diana said...

Okay, you don't know me but I'm Emilee's sister in law, Dallin's sister.
I was browsing through some of her friends blogs (to see what other blogs look like) and came across yours. Wow! Great job! So entertaining!!! And this "New Low" blog is very very sad and hilarious at the same time. It really made me laugh!
Anyway, I'm sorry to be snooping, but I really enjoyed seeing your blog and had to compliment you.
Also... is there a certain site where you got your cute blog template? Or do you use your own? Just curious...
Thanks and take care 8-)

 
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