Mar 13, 2008

Our trip home


So as a side note, I sent Laine to school today with her first vegemite sandwich. Yeah, we'll see how that goes. We didn't have any lunch meat and there is a peanut butter ban because of allergies. I didn't have time for tuna, so she got vegemite. I'm not optimistic...


Anyway, so it seems like y'all gets such sick pleasure our of the hardships we {I} endure. So, just for you, here is that latest installment of what the poor wretches have been up to: Our Trip Home

So we get to the airport in SLC with our ten bags and 15 carseats and 75 strollers and carry ons. So far all seems to be going well as we transfer a few cans from this bag and some laundry soap to this bag so that every bag weighs 50 lbs. or under. We are really kind of amazed at how good the kids are being and how everything is running so smoothly. Ah, the calm before the storm.

We get to LAX and assume {we put the ass in assume this time} that our flight goes out of the International terminal. So we leave the secured area of terminal 7 and head to Terminal 4. Since we have so much time, we figure, why not walk the 3 miles down there? We are all starving by this time, but that's okay, we've still got plenty of time to sit down and eat once we get there.

We decide to eat before going through security. We get seated at our chosen restaurant and they bring us menus, waters, and plates & silverware. It's about this time that we notice our flight is not on the big board announcing departures. Ben decides to do some investigating and runs back saying we are in the wrong place, we have to leave NOW, and hoof it all the way back to Terminal 7. There is not a shuttle to be found, so Ben takes Gabe in the stroller and we find a stray Smartecarte and throw Laine and the carry ons on board and run. It turns out our flight to Sydney was just a few feet from the gate where we had landed from SLC, and we didn't need to waste the 2 hours of our time leaving security and walking 3 miles.

We made it to our gate with just enough time to grab a pizza to go and get on the plane. We were stopped though, at the gate, and were made to wait for 15 minutes for some reason we still aren't aware of. It was around this time that I realized the pizza was vertical in the bag, rather than the traditional and much preferred horizontal method of carrying pizzas. When we finally got on the plane, we were nearly the last people, we ate cold bread, and cheese, and chicken all separately. As a sidenote, we were hungry in SLC but decided the food selection would be better in CA so we could wait. Big mistake

So we get on the plane and get to our seats and realize that Gabe is poopy. This was fine as he was about to go to sleep so I was going to be changing him anyway. As I look into the carry on bag that is supposed to have the diapers, I realize that they are not there. I scour through everything we have and realize we don't have ONE diaper. This, again, should be no problem. All of the plane rides that we have taken previously have had diapers as standard issue. I ring the flight attendant and she puts my mind at ease that they will get some for me ASAP. She goes to the back of the plane a few feet away and says, "what... we don't... are you sure...there's not one....can you check again..." Crap. By the way, Chris, do you have a stack of about 8 diapers sitting on your kitchen counter?

So next I am escorted off the plane, which is supposed to be leaving negative 10 minutes ago, and run like mad to Hudson News in search of diapers. I scan the Health and Beauty. No diapers. I take a long glance at the maxi pads and decide it would be better than nothing. I can make one giant dipaer out of the 6 maxi pads. Yes, great. I am about to go for it and then my escort runs up and says I have to get back to the plane and he will figure something out. As I am walking back I am scanning everywhere for a mother with a baby. I am going to find one and offer her $20 for a diaper. There are no babies or mothers anywhere. There wasn't even one other baby on our flight.

I get back to the plane and begin eating that cold "what used to be pizza", though I have kind of lost my appetite by then. I am letting Ben know that I am about to go postal, scaring all of my neighbors. Then a man finally runs up with a bag for me, he says they located some diapers in lost and found. Normally this would be wierd and a bit scary for me, but under the circumstances I was praising the Lord!

Then, all of the sudden, the plane becomes a complete zoo! What seems like 25 people of a certain ethnic and religious sect, run onto the plane laughing and joking and talking, all trying to find their seats. I was at first relieved that I wasn't the only one holding up the plane. I lived to regret that relief. It turned out to be a family of 14 of the rudest and loudest kids and their parents. After holding up the plane for 45 minutes, they then realize that one of the 5 year olds has lost her passport. Now the plane can not take off, because they can't knowingly bring some one over who doesn't have a passport to clear immigration. The kids begin frantically looking EVERYWHERE for it. I even had to move my carry ons so they could look under the seat. They ended up FINALLY finding it, to which the plane erupted with applause that we could finally be on our way.

That was just the beginning. They pushed the call button all night long, talked really loudly, it escalated to the point of getting fights with the flight attendants that couldn't be resolved without getting the purser involved. They kept Gabe up all night long. He wouldn't sleep unless Ben held him, which he did while I laid across the 3 remaining seats. It was so sweet of Ben to let me off the hook! Thanks Ben! Laine kind of slept on the floor but it was a rough one. We are such poor wretches!

17 comments:

Matt and Allyson said...

That story was too much. I have had some experiences with my own children flying back and forth to North Carolina. They're pretty comparable...however NC is a little closer than Austrailia. We also have a jar of vegemite in our refridgerator. Matt brought it back from a trip he took to Sidney. He tasted it...said it was sick! I passed.

Rhonda Can't Help You said...

I stumbled across your blog- I'm a friend of Ben's from high school, Rhonda Williams. Nice to have an update- and sorry you had such an awful trip home. Very inventive use of maxi pads, by the way. Tell Ben I say hello!

JLR said...

I am so sorry about your poor flight! I HATE LAX too!!! You are so brave for buying vegemite. When we were in England everyone had vegemite and marmite, but I could never bring myself to try it. Now I kind of wished I did =).

Rileys said...

Nat, I'm pretty sure that keeping track of these experiences on your blog, by the time your kids are out of the house you will have a New York Times Bestseller on your hands!

Kari said...

wow. i'm somewhat speechless. i do have to say however that i thoroughly enjoy reading your adventures. i just feel bad that someone has to go through these terrible times in order for me to have my entertainment, and i mostly feel bad that that person is you. but you seem to handle it so well! :)

Gaengy said...

What is vegemite? I agree you do have a best seller on your hands. Sorry it was such a rough trip. You have more stories to tell. I am glad you got a diaper and did not have to put maxi pads on Gabe! I guess it made the mess you came home to not seem so bad after the flight from hell!

Lindsay said...

OH man! That story tops all! I'm glad you stayed semi-sane. I think I would have busted out in tears. Flying is horrible as it is... Do you ever want to come back again? Maybe it will be like having a child. After a while, you forget all the crap and want to have another kid (Why, I don't know). Maybe eventually you might get back on a plane again. I dunno though, it might not be worth it.

Shauna said...

I am always shocked to hear that people actually like Vegemite. I used to babysit for some kids who loved it and i thought it was basically Nutella and almost barfed all over myself tasting that chocolate covered salty spread. Yuck!

Trent and Sarah Chapman said...

Their never seems to be a dull moment in your life! At times I wish I had amazing crazy stories to tell but maybe I just can't pick them out and describe them the way that you can! I love and miss you Nat!

Nick & Nicole said...

I am sorry about the trip, that is aweful. I especially enjoyed the not-pizza part!

Allison & Noah Riley said...

Oh my goodness. I don't even know where to begin, which portion of that story to comment on. I was seriously exhausted by the time I finished reading it. I'm so sorry!

Utley Family said...

Oh, Natalie! You guys should be on a reality show! Thanks for giving me a good laugh!

Ashleigh said...

Had to read this out loud to Ansen. We were dying over the maxi pads! Ansen's wishing he could have some veggiemite (not really). He claims the only reason he ever tried it was because there was a Men At Work (80's group) song that mentioned veggiemite, so he had to try it. It's surprising considering how his food interests barely reach beyond dessert, fish and steak.

Katie said...

Even though I already heard this whole story I am still laughing about it! You guys kill me!

mrsambercrane said...

You have the most adventures of anyone I know. It is so fun to hear your funny stories. I was trying to read the one about the parked cars to Dan and I was laughing so hard I was crying and he finally told me to stop trying and he would read it later. It looks like the wedding was a success. Glad you made it home in one piece. -Amber

The Wells Family said...

Ha Ha! You really are too much! What would I do without your comical life?!? I apologize that you despair is my highlight. :) Well, I am so sorry about it all, but you are FINALLY home and have plenty of diapers...and Vegemite.

Kimberli Tripp said...

I'm sorry you had such a rough plane ride home! It was fun to see your sisters wedding pics though.

You are a great writer. Your blog is so fun to read!

 
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